Is Turok Evolutions the worst Turok ever?

Has anyone played this pile of ball-sucking rotten eggplants smelling cat feces? I should have known when even the trolls @ GameStop looked down on me for asking for this game. So I rushed home, even unwrapped it in the car at a stop light, I was so psyched to play it. So I start it up, so far so good, and the play begins. Before I go any further I am making no attempt to keep the details of the story hidden where they actually matter, so if you plan on playing this game, which I hope that you will not and I recommend against it, then read at your own risk there are so many good plot twists you would really be doing yourself a service to just read this post and save the $ for this game. The story is enough to keep me from going to the bathroom, if not to worry I will be dropped into some epic battle to start the game... wrong. You start is some crappy ship, no weapons, no practice range, no interactive elements, just a few hallways to walk down and find out that everyone else in the crew thinks that you are a piece of crap. So we "land", all the sudden you are required to make timed button presses? Ok whatever so we crash and I am on the ground, what gives still no weapon, whatever I keep on trucking. But wait there is a knife in the grass, sweet now I will get to do what I saw in that awesome video. I wish I had actually played the demo and not just bought this game. So I manage to sneak up on the fist guard, and shank! I knife the dude right in the face, I could get used to this, I am so glad I just spent $60 this is soo worth it. Well soon you get a gun and fumble through a few more enemies, plot unfolds, enemies forge a tenuous friendship... blah blah blah... Whats that in the wreckage a bow and arrow! This is looking up, as another unnecessarily long epic cut scene unfolds I now have the bow, sweet! This will make up for all the short comings in the shooting mechanisms and the lack of a closing maneuver when sneaking up on distant enemies, again wrong... Ok so details, details, details you fumble along very akwardly and slowly I might add through the rest of the mindless jungle levels, unable to shoot from a distance without the bow, unable to shoot from medium range with anything, unable to sneak up on more than one person anywhere, unable to hide bodies, unable to sprint, unable to create distractions... ok so I am bitter, this game has all the makings of a good title and some good ideas, but each and every one is incomplete. Knifing

• Man are those first 50 brutal knife sequences fun, personal favorite is the top of the raptor's head, that shit is like Bruce Springsteen, and by that I mean Boss!
• wtf - why is there a 3 second cut scene every time you knife, and why are you vulnerable to attack during this forced cut scene

Stealth

• sure you can be stealthy, but as soon as you kill someone their body will give you away, give me a way to hide the body or just make it disappear, I appreciate realism, but a body blinking away into nothing because you are too lazy to build in actually mechanics to manipulate objects is fine with me
• why do the guards linked to an area know that I am there when only one of them sees me, but a guard in an adjacent area, not know?
• the guards never stop being alert once you are discovered, haven't these guys ever played metal gear solid, if I go in the box the guards should go back to their patrols?

Bow

• Best weapon in the entire game
• There is no incentive to use this weapon in the entire game
• there is no missions that require this
• no way to hold breath, everyone knows you click down on the stick to hold your breath and steady your aim, oh wait, everyone but the douches that designed this game

Shooting

• To accurate enough to be an arcade shooter
• Not accurate enough to be a simulation shooter
• what exactly were they trying to do besides get the most mediocre characteristics of each?

Movement

• where is the f'n sprint button
• how do you sprint
• what ass-hat decided that not having a sprint function was a good design decision?

Weapons

• Again where is the cerebral bore?
• guns are par for the Unreal engine, no innovation here

Gameplay

• mediocre @ best
• downright idiotic @ worst
• enemies are challenging when they behave intelligently and rush, that is tough and makes for an awesome experience.

Conclusion I really really really wanted to like this game, I loved the o-g on 64 and skipped the releases since, but really wanted this to bring it back for me. I played it, and have a broken Xbox controller for my trouble. Ok, it is unfair to blame the game for my ignorance and violence towards a controller out of frustration, but it proves my point I wanted this to be good and was so frustrated that if fell flat on its fat face, but it is nice and has a good personality. It felt like the designers had a killer shooter arcade game a real run and gun where the character was fast and could potentially double-jump, but some jackass from marketing came down 3 months before release and said they needed to have the bow to meet a contractual agreement with the comic book creator. I want to believe that, then in my fantasy, I can dream of a real game that was about 10% faster-moving, where a sprint would not be needed and there was no attempt at creating one simulation-style weapon at the expense of all the carefully planned gameplay for a slightly quicker paced game. Needless to say, they couldn't put enough lipstick on this pig in its current state for me to go home with it again, one time was enough for me. Remember that hottest chick/dude you knew when you were in high school, you come home for Christmas and meet them out, things go well and you end up bumping uglies. You wake up in their house, which is still their parent's house, to their children screaming and your junk is kinda itchy and not the normal I just had sex and haven't taken a shower yet itchy... you just got Turok'd!